Growing Pains

In 26 years of life, I've never felt growing pains quite like the ones I'm having these days. I've felt the pain in my knees, my wrists and my elbows, but it's been a few years since those were commonplace. My growing pains lately happen to be much more pleasant, I'd even go so far as to call them delightful. Once in awhile they're sprinkled with touches of a real, gut-wrenching pain, but pure joy seems to overshadow any sense of discomfort.

These growing pains are not taking place in my joints or affecting my limbs, rather these are growing pains in my heart. Yes, my heart. I never knew that at a certain time in ones' life her heart had to grow, but I tell you what - this heart of mine has been stretched and stretched and stretched some more over the last nine weeks and three days. My heart seems to be making more and more and more room for lovin' my sweet daughter Myka Mae.  As I sit at my kitchen table this morning, my growing pains are acting up more than ever. My sweet girl is sleeping peacefully in her crib, and this Mama is busy counting her blessings. With each one I count, my heart seems to swell a little more.

Sure, I've been told countless times how you just can't describe the love you feel for your child - and here I sit, trying desperately to describe how my heart aches with adoration for that sweet girl. It really does ache, and that's why I feel its appropriate to use the word "pain" -  as backwards as that may seem. My heart aches for her heart - that she would know Jesus and be like Him. My soul aches as I pray that the Lord would use her life for His glory. My eyes begin to ache because they can't bare to close when that beauty is in my arms. My mind aches as I pour my entire being into becoming the best possible Mother for this precious child.

Precious, precious growing pains. Every time my heart grows, it fills right up to the top with love and must make room for more. You see, my heart isn't only making room to love a daughter, it's making room for an ever-growing love for others in my life too. I've never loved Tony like I love him now. In fact, I never knew I could. Everything's different, and yet my love for him grows greater by the minute as I see him love our daughter and love me as Mommy to his girl.

My heart has always had lots of room in it for loving my family, and yet again, with the birth of Myka it's had to make room to love them even more. They're the most devoted, selfless, caring, kind, giving, generous people on the planet. Mom, Dad, Mike, Jenny, James, Diana, Kelsey, Kerry, Ryan, Lynn, Jim - watching them love Myka and love and care for me as a Mommy forces my heart to grow. 

All this talking of growing pains of the heart is really making me achy, but none of those pains compare to the pains I'm experiencing as my heart explodes with a new love for my Savior Jesus Christ. He has graciously allowed me to be a Mom - thank you God. He is gently guiding me in this new season of life. He is pouring new mercies on me every morning. He keeps forgiving me. He keeps teaching me. He is never leaving my side. He always comforts me. He faithfully provides for me. His grace has been more than enough for me. My heart has been the Lord's for a long time, but it's never ached quite like this. His Word has never been so precious and real to me. I've never felt his loving arms wrapped around me quite like I do now. I've sure needed him the last few weeks, and He's been right there - holding this sinful human close and graciously guiding me each day.

"He guides His flock like a shepherd. He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart. He gently guides those with young." Isaiah 40:11. That promise is for me today and tomorrow and the next day and I'm holding onto it tight. How could my heart stay the same size when my God speaks to me with those tender words?

Alright, time for some Tylenol. Attempting to express my heart has sent my growing pains into over-drive. The sweet baby noises I'm hearing up the stairs aren't helping.

Daddy's Girl

One of the joys of being pregnant (of which there are many) is seeing my husband grow in excitement to meet our baby girl. He adores her already and sings her to sleep and prays for her every night. She kicks up a storm when his face is close to my belly serenading her with sweet lullabies. He has read her the book "Love you Forever" (a shower gift from my sweet cousins Niah and Maria) and now he sings the song from that book every night - "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." Occasionally it gets sung to me too. :) It is such a blessing to be bringing a baby into the world with a man who loves God, loves me, and will love this child forever. I tell baby girl almost every day, and I mean it - she has the world's best daddy!

Tony and I laugh when we compare notes on the girl we think this baby will be. Ultimately, we both pray that she will love the Lord, long to serve Him, have a heart of compassion and kindness and spend her life loving Jesus and loving others. However, we have slightly different ideas of her future when it comes to some of the less important details. I think that's just sort of what happens when a band geek marries a jock.

These are a few pictures of Tony's favorite outfits that we have acquired for baby girl. They may give you a little glimpse at the girl he hopes she will be.

These shoes were Tony's first purchase for baby girl. He has the same ones (minus the pink), so we're pretty excited for them to get to match in...oh eight years or so when she wears a size 11. :)

The countdown is on - 18 days until my due date. We can't wait to meet this precious girl! Thank you Lord for the incredible miracle of life and thank you for the incredible husband you've allowed me to experience life with!

We Love Summer!

Tony and I have had a fabulous summer! It's gone really, super fast (as always), but we've never been more eager for September, so it's less sad than usual to say goodbye to the sweet days of summer. I rarely post pictures on this blog which makes it so boring I realize. So...I'm going to capture pieces of our summer in pictures to remind myself of an amazingly fun summer with my hubby. Our last summer without a child in tow - oh my!

I got an iPhone for my bday! woo-hoo! Tony got an iPad. We're feeling pretty techy!

We ADORE our nephew Jimmy! We don't see the boy near enough. 

Our anniversary date - ended with a trip to Target. We practiced carting baby cargo around. And we enjoyed celebrating 4 years of marital bliss. What a blessing!

These are totally out of order, but this is such a fun picture. I'm 28 weeks and my best friend Jessi is at 39 weeks - oh my! You'll see her precious baby below.

Tony and I are both at 28 weeks here - he's looking great, ain't he? We spent July 4th in Davenport celebrating with the Meyers. 

And then baby Noah arrived on July 12th. We were so excited to go and meet him!

NEPHSTER!! Jimmy was the ring bearer for Megan & Jeremy's wedding. I love his Jordan socks!

I hate to brag....but...my hubby WON the Celebrate Washington 3-on-3 basketball tournament* and the free throw contest. I married such a stud! His trophy is proudly displayed in our entryway. 

We had a really fun evening with my family at the Van Hemerts in Pella when...

Kelsey & Kerry got engaged!!! Kerry had us all come to Pella to surprise Kelsey. What a special night!

Ok, talk about random. My next post will be AWESOME...just wait!!! It's about our supercalafragalisticexpealidocious vacation!

*There was only one other team in the tourney. Ha! Tony really is a stinkin good athlete though. We're hoping baby girl gets his skills!

Adios!

There is No Secret

I love remembering my Wedding Day. I love considering the incredible grace and goodness of God to intersect my life with Tony's life. I love when God brings to mind the prayers I prayed for my future husband while I spent my summer at age 16 at Pine Lake Camp. I love knowing that during that same time Tony came to know the Jesus as His Savior - and it would be years before I met him! I love loving a God who is a miracle worker!

One of the songs sang at our wedding was "A Page is Turned" by Bebo Norman.

The first verse talks about a young boy saying, "But as his story is told and the storybook unfolds, he finds salvation, but not at the hands of man." I shed tears every time I hear that line. I shed tears every time I heard it for months leading up to our wedding. God always had His hand on Tony's life and worked miracles to make Tony the man of God He is. I love hearing Tony's life story and seeing the fingerprints of God all along the way preparing Him for ministry. God was also preparing him to be an incredible husband! Another line in the song talks about how God prepares the man for the woman - "And all this time preparing her the one to hold her up when she comes undone." I am on the receiving end of such blessing because of God's work in Tony's life!

Tony and I will soon celebrate our 4th anniversary! The last four years have been unbelievably amazing! We have so much fun as husband and wife. In the midst of the fun, life has hurt terribly, we've experienced tremendous loss and pain, we've been confused and extremely discouraged, but God's great gift of marriage has remained one of the biggest blessings in our lives! We love life together! We are continually challenged and inspired by one another to love Jesus more! Marriage is so good. And there is "No secret to the source of this much life."

The last verse in the song goes like this...
A page is turned in this life, he's making her his wife
And there is no secret to the source of this much life
When the grace that falls like rain is washing them again
Just a chance to somehow rise above this land

With Jesus at the Center, marriage works. We mess up big time. We each fall prey to our sinful desires and remove Jesus from His proper place at the center of our lives and our marriage. As two sinful humans, there's no way to experience this goodness on our own, but God's grace gives our marriage life. Following God's design for marriage is so good. His blessings abound. There's no secret to the joy of our marriage - it's all Jesus! Thank you Jesus!

Preparing for Baby

In around 16 weeks we'll be welcoming a baby girl to this crazy life! Last night we decided it was time to start making some serious preparations for her arrival. We have not yet taken a lamaze class, we have not yet read Baby Wise, and we've given very little (Cari) to no (Tony) thought to a nursery. However, we are now completely familiar and entirely unimpressed with the selection of baby/little girl toys in the Wal-Mart toy aisles. During our Wal-Mart run last night, my toy-loving husband felt it would be worthwhile to scope out the selection.

First of all, let me say - i don't really like toys. The fewer toys that have to be in our house, the better. (Easy for me to say now, huh?) Second, my poor house is already full of my husband's toys. Maybe they'll like the same toys, that would be convenient. We'll be set if this little one loves nerf guns, airsoft guns and basketballs/soccer balls/footballs/nerf balls/tennis balls/etc.

We started our toy research in the Bike aisle where they have those super cool, super expensive electric toy cars. Neither of us had one as a child and I think we're both still feeling a little burned by that. Ok, not really, but how cool would it be for a kid to get to drive around in one? The bummer is that every girl car is plastered in Disney's princesses.* They can't simply be painted pink and purple, they have to have "Princess" written all over them. We decided she'd have to go with the John Deere Gator. (*I don't mean to imply there's anything wrong with Disney's princesses, just never been my thing.)

Next, we ventured down the girl toy aisle. The aisle started out with these incredibly freaky looking dolls that looked like barbies but weren't and were dressed in scandalous lingerie....cool! Next were the Bratz dolls...cool! (I really hope my sarcasm is clear here.) Then came the Barbies...ok, barbies really can be kind of cool .I sort of liked them as a little girl. Across the aisle were the baby dolls - i loved baby dolls as a little girl! I kid you not, at one point we each had a baby doll cradled in our arms while we gave her her pacifier and listened to her make baby noises while opening and shutting her eyes. Then we looked at each other and realized what we were doing and quickly returned the dolls to the shelves. I think we're getting a little excited for baby's arrival! :)

Our baby preparation outing last night left both of us feeling much better prepared for our baby's arrival. The most important things we learned: don't waste time at Wal-Mart and a bunch of crazies design girls' toys. We are one step closer to being great parents!

Richard Simmons Visits FBC

Can you believe it?!?! Richard Simmons himself in Washington Iowa. If you've paid a visit to the Faith Baptist Church gym the past few Sunday mornings, you've had the privilege of watching Richard in all his glory leading an exercise/dance/music class. It's a sight to see! It's a new ministry model we're trying - Sunday School/Dance/Exercise/Richard - we think it's going to be a huge hit. jk.

Actually, the junior high students in this particular Sunday School class have no idea who Richard Simmons is. It's just that I cannot stop thinking of those 80s exercise tapes as I watch Tony teach these students the songs for Vacation Bible School.* It's not because Tony's wearing a leotard. It's not because he's grown his hair out into a fro. And it's not because the music sounds like its from the 80s. It's just that Tony is hysterically funny and goes all out with his goofiness and boundless energy as he helps these students get excited about serving at VBS.

This year our junior high students are leading the Opening and Closing sessions for VBS and Tony is gracious enough to lead them in that responsibility. He is crazy talented at working with students! He's made it a blast for them to learn childish songs, all the while setting an incredible example to them of the pure enthusiasm you need when serving children. It's an amazing sight- he's got 7th/8th/9th graders dancing their hearts out to silly VBS songs so that the kids @ VBS next week will feel God's love through adults and students that care enough to join them in learning at their level.

I wish I could capture Tony's heart and attitude and put it into words, but as these last few paragraphs have shown, my words just aren't adequate. For heaven's sake, here I am comparing him to Richard Simmons.

*You may be wondering why in the world I ever watched Richard Simmons' exercise videos. I'm really not sure. I think my Aunt Karen had them. I spent some of my elementary days a little on the pudgy side, so maybe my Mom kindly invited me to spend an hour with Richard every once in awhile. I really don't remember. Unfortunately, those ugly images are scarred in my memory forever.

Who Needs Justin Bieber?

Not me...I've caught a different kind of fever. I guess you could call it the Widdel Fever. That doesn't have quite the same ring to it, but that's not the point. Tonight my husband serenaded me with a little "Never Say Never" and "Baby." Yep, I'm that lucky. Married to a man whose singing and guitar playing could put Justin Bieber to shame any day. In fact, even the baby in my belly couldn't help but dance a little to Daddy's Bieber tunes. If you pay any attention to the words, they aren't quite fitting for our circumstances. Ok... not at all fitting, but you have to admit the teenage rockstar's songs are pretty fun.

At about 3:00 this afternoon Tony called to let me know he was taking me shopping and out to dinner tonight. He said he needed to "spoil" me and would explain later. I had plans for a meeting, but he was making the phone call to cancel that meeting so we could be together. I had spent the morning and afternoon with my Mom and sister, so I was already feeling spoiled. Mom even got to join me at my doctor's appointment and they did an ultrasound just for her so she could see her grandbaby! Very fun!

Tony came home at about 4:30 to pick me up. He grabbed his guitar and told me he was about to "set the mood" for the evening, that's where the serenading came in. He's
so stinkin' funny! I can imagine him sitting in his office this afternoon practicing his Justin Bieber sounds...awesome. That's the kind of thing I love about youth pastors. After the mood was set, we left for Williamsburg where I was treated to some shopping.

Tony insisted it was against the rules to shop for the baby. This trip was only about buying some fun new stuff for me. I did not deserve that and felt rather guilty about it, but Tony was adamant that this was the way he wanted to let me know just how important I am to him. It was fun and I got some great deals! I avoided maternity clothes...as I'm trying so hard to do. They're just so awful looking. I know eventually I'll need them desperately, but it's really hard to want to spend money on them.

We left the mall and headed for Texas Roadhouse where we ingested thousands of calories in rolls and cinnamon butter. I chose not to stop after the rolls and caesar salad, and continued on to finish off a steak and mashed potatoes. Tony's steak came home with us in a to-go box. I don't like being the big eater, but that's been the trend around here lately.

I know it must appear that all Tony and I do is spend time together and enjoy one another. We do spend a LOT of time together and we thank God for the precious opportunity to be together so often. However, since most of that time is spent working it sometimes feels like it's been a long time since we've connected. We've been together the last two weekends, doing lots of ministry along the way. We've been together most evenings...sitting in meetings and serving alongside one another in programs. We've even been together most afternoons, but those afternoons are focused on the work of the church. Please don't misunderstand and think I'm griping, I rejoice in this amazing season of life in which God has allowed us to work side by side.

During this season we've come to realize that since we are together often, it's easy to forget that it's been a long time since we've talked about anything besides the ministry of the church. We've learned we must be more proactive in setting some time aside to be husband and wife, and not just Youth Pastor and Children's Director. Tonight was a wife and husband kinda night...and I'm thankful and feeling refreshed.

I have the best husband ever, just sayin'. Did I mention that he ended the evening with another round of "Never Say Never" and "Baby"?? Yep, I've got some serious Widdel Fever.