I treasure the memory of our day off last Thursday. It was the most spiritually refreshing, rejuvenating, awe-inspiring day I've had in a long time. Thank you Jesus!
Wednesdays are long days...I know you others in ministry can understand. We start the morning with prayer at WACO high school at 7:30 and end the night around 10:30 after cleaning up and getting organized after our Wednesday evening programs. They are long, but wonderful days. The opportunity we have to share God's truth with young people is incredible, seeing the hard work of preparation come to fruition is rewarding, and getting a million hugs and smiles from my beloved little guys and gals fills my tired heart right up! Last week I even got a "I missed you so much, Cari" from a darling 4 year old whose life at home is just plain sad. Those kinds of words are straight from the Lord, a little shot of encouragement and energy to give me what I need to keep pouring myself out for His work.
Don't be fooled. That last paragraph sure makes it sound like I always have an oh-so-positive, ministry-is-the-best kind of attitude, and I sure wish I did. The truth is - I get tired, really tired. I forget to depend on the strength of the Lord, try to depend on mine, and run out really fast. I get frustrated and discouraged. I find myself completely confused and lonely. I get so busy with the work of ministry, that I forgo quiet moments spent alone with my Savior.
Oh my...that's an honest look at what you'd find if you took a close look at my heart some days. Consider this a confession. I know as well as you do that is by no means what the heart of one of God's chosen, beloved daughters should look like. I let sin creep in.
As Tony and I packed up our offices last Wednesday around 11 p.m. - I was feeling the effects of trying so hard to minister on my own strength...truth be known -I don't have it. It is only through the power of the Holy Spirit that I can do Kingdom work. That's the crazy thing about vocational ministry...it is all about letting God work through you. It is all about making sure the glory is His. It's an interesting concept, one I continue to wrestle with. He gifts you with what you need to do the work, but you must rely completely on Him. I suppose that should be true anywhere, but in ministry we must rely completely on the presence and work of God to accomplish our goals. With that said – constant, close communion with the Lord is critical. I was desperate for that communion.
We both knew that meant our Thursday “date day” the next day was going to look a little different. We needed a “date day” with the Lord. I could hardly wait to wake up! I was so looking forward to my retreat with the Lord!
We packed our lunches, our Bibles, our journals, some books, some music, our baseball gloves, and a frisbee and set out for Lake Darling State Park. It was a GORGEOUS, warm fall day! I found a spot at a picnic table overlooking the lake (the lake is currently drained, so it’s not all that beautiful, good thing I have a great imagination.) For the next few hours, I sang praises at the top of my lungs, wept at the thought of how good and faithful my God is to meet with me, poured through the Psalms, and studied the book of Titus. There was no one around…just me and the Lord and that was exactly what I needed. The Lord spoke so much truth into my heart. He is SO FAITHFUL!
Let me encourage you others in ministry with a verse that blessed my heart – “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Galatians 6:9-10.
Tony and I ended the afternoon with some Frisbee, baseball, and a nice long hike along the Iowa prairie. We pretended we were Bear Grillz and tried to figure out how we would survive in such rough terrain were we left to fend for ourselves. Gotta love Man Vs. Wild.
I love my God, I love my husband!